i can’t go out. *cough cough* i’m sick.
Calling in sick with a harsh case of sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia just might work: while eating, your blood vessels suddenly began constricting and dilating, overwhelming you with unbearable headaches that feel like they’ll never end. It’s not contagious, but it’s definitely painful, and you should probably stay home today. Just in case.
Chill out, people—it’s just a brain freeze, a term coined by 7-11 to explain the pain triggered by drinking a Slurpee too fast. Whenever a spoonful of ice cream, the top of a popsicle, or something else cold (and usually delicious) touches the roof of your mouth, your blood vessels initially contract to prevent loss of body heat and then quickly expand and rush to your brain in an effort to warm up your palate. However, this also sets off pain receptors in your face, so even though you feel like that heavy pounding is rooted in your forehead (which is also how your brain falsely processes it), it actually isn’t. And contrary to popular belief, holding your temples, trying to warm them up with your hands and screaming about it to your friends isn’t going to help that ice cream headache one bit.
If the natural reaction won’t cure the pain, then what will? Bringing back the heat: roll your tongue into a ball in the back of your mouth so that the bottom of your tongue is touching that palate, cup your mouth to warm the palate with your own breath or sip something that’s served at room temperature. Or simply wait it out—no matter how much pain you’re in, a brain freeze rarely ever lasts longer than a minute. And as deadly as it feels in the moment, no one has ever actually died from “frozen brain syndrome.”
Just don’t tell your boss that.
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mock editorial submitted as part of a recent job application. and no, the mean girls reference was not the title i actually used.
career karma: can you change your fate?
rank the following by level of satisfaction:
a) reaching goals completely on your own.
b) reaching goals with the help of others.
c) watching others reach their goals, with your help.
tangent, but actually completely related to this topic: the one thing I like about watching sports is how the players restrict the competition to the field: they work hard to win until the buzzer hits, and then they sincerely shake hands and congratulate the other for their respectable efforts. they are on opposing teams who fight side-by-side to achieve the same goal, but they are not enemies. no one takes it personally or brings it beyond the boundaries of the game.
that’s how it should be in the real world, in the rat race, in the ring we’re all thrown into after graduation. sure, we’re each other’s competition for the same stock of jobs, but wouldn’t we have more success stories circulating among us if we just stopped looking down at our own career plans for a moment and helped each other out? how many times have you asked for help only to find yourself still lost and rejected? better yet, how many times have you asked for help, received it, and then refused to help someone else—behind you, next to you or ahead of you?
career karma is real, people, and it’s called networking. so pay it forward not solely so you can get some back someday, but because it’s the right thing to do; it feels good, it’s beyond yourself, it’s what you wish someone had done for you. besides, a little bit of potential hiring help from the universe in the future is an offer that even the most egotistical of overachievers can’t refuse.
btw, i ranked until recently. now, a=b=c.
featured on this week's Monster 5!
How are candidates differentiating themselves these days? For some insight into a popular resume-writing strategy that’s gaining some attention, read Ashley Lee’s resume advice on Jobacle.com.
guest post written for Jobacle on behalf of BeKnown scored me a spot on this week’s Monster 5, a link roundup on Monster’s blog for job seekers and company recruiters. woohoo!
i find myself wanting to screen cap too many scenes while streaming episodes of mad men. too many good quotes, too many gorgeous outfits, too much jon hamm.
…haha, as if there were such a thing.
a creative writer typing from LA & SD.
