“Ich Bin Ein Berliner” episode on Pan Am. and my lifelong mantra.
artist ambition check: artist? ambition? check.
JR: How can I fix the world, I am just an artist.
Prize Director: No, no. You don’t need to FIX the world. You just need to CHANGE it.
lexington & highland, west hollywood
a shiny piece of pre-interview encouragement spotted while walking over a mile—in heels—from jimmy kimmel’s red carpet to a quiet coffee shop on melrose.
Dreams for Dummies: Native Son
“I’ve never really done this before, but here goes nothing. My name is Daniel, and I’m twenty-one years old. I major in Human Biology at…sorry, that’s usually the direction I go in when introducing myself. Uhh, I guess it started back when I was in middle school: my dad works incredibly hard all day and unwinds with a bottle of Bud after work. He always encouraged me to become a doctor; he said it’s only worth it to work toward ‘the best of the best.’ It was fine when I was kid, I’ve always naturally been the bookworm – my parents joke that my sister’s the “beauty” of the family and I’m the “brains” – but one day, I was really worried about some test in eighth grade that I couldn’t sleep. And for some reason, I thought to grab one of my dad’s bottles in the middle of the night and for the first time in a long time, I felt really good. Warm, confident, complete. I fell asleep happily, woke up, and I aced that test.
“When things in high school got stressful, I would sneak into the kitchen and do the same thing. It’s weird, other people play with alcohol at this age because of peer pressure, but I think it became my pastime because of academic pressure, or pressure from my family…or, or from myself…anyway, once I got to college, alcohol was everywhere, so it was easy to access whenever I needed to calm down the night before an exam, and whenever I needed to take away the anxiety after one too. If I didn’t drown my own mind out, I would stay up all night going over as many questions as I could remember, punching numbers in my calculator without end and scavenging my textbooks for answers and affirmation that I performed well on those pieces of paper. It started freaking out my roommate, so he got his pledge brothers to buy me bottles of beer and rum and whiskey. I self-medicated so that I could study and sleep.
“But a couple months ago, I was in the middle of filling out my applications for medical school and I got a ‘C’ in one of my neuroscience classes – sure, it’s the hardest class in the curriculum but I thought I ought to be as fine as always – and no matter how much I drank, I just couldn’t get over it. Night after night, I’d seize any opportunity to drink and then pound the table until I finally get away from my own stress by passing out. I stopped showing up to my shifts at the hospital, and I’d come into the research lab reeking of the Coke and Captain Morgan mixtures from only hours before. My supervisor sat me down and confronted me about how I crumbled under all the pressure, and instead of firing me on the spot, he helped me fix things for the long run: talked to me about my goals, reassured me of my personal competence, and invited me to accompany him to a few of his AA meetings after work.
“I don’t know if I’m really an alcoholic, but it’s been thirty-two days since my last drink, and I couldn’t have done it without the support of my supervisor. But even more so, hearing all of your stories about how you weaned yourselves away from alcohol helped me realize that my sick addiction to academic ambition can never fulfill me. And, like today’s speaker said: no amount of alcohol mixes well with insecurity and illusion.
“I’m doing a lot better now because thirty-two days ago, I secretly made the decision to withhold my applications to medical school. I haven’t figured out how to tell my family that after ‘dreaming’ of becoming a doctor for as long as I can remember, I now have no idea who I am and what I’m going to do with the rest of my life.”
—-
this is the final chapter in the arch of one of my characters, Daniel Ott. it was my first real attempt at fiction, one of four family members in my final piece for my experimental writing class. catch up on parts one, two and three, if you haven’t already, and thanks to everyone who has given me feedback so far. i hope you enjoyed it!
by the way, the point i tried to make is that what at first appears to be lost feelings of misdirection, wasted time and hopelessness - America’s definition of failure - is actually the happy ending of my story. or, the happy beginning of their stories.
who wants to be a millionaire! episode 12
MCAT Practice Questions: Verbal Reasoning
Directions:
Each reading passage in this section is followed by questions based on the content of the reading passage. Read the passage carefully and chose the best answer to each question. Note: The questions are to be answered on the basis of what is stated or implied in the passage. The correct answer(s) to each question is included.
Passage-I
I came to this country when I was only five years old with my family, each holding on tightly to thick German accents and pockets full of dreams. We settled in a small suburban town where my father quickly became a hardware storekeeper and my mother pulled out every hometown recipe she could recall from her childhood, cooking anything that a hungry local would pay for. Once school let out for the day, my brother and I alternated between the shop and the restaurant, loosely translating what little English we had learned by then into what broken colloquial German phrases we could piece together. Back then, I thought I was working hard for the money, but it was barely anything. It was all nothing: no money, no stability, no possibility to move from where we were starting out. We were stuck.
I knew that once I received my high school diploma, I would have to figure out a fast way to make money for my family. That year, our neighbor’s house was for sale: one Sunday afternoon, a tall man in a black suit would emerge from a shiny sports car, pass out cookies and flyers, and shake hands with happy families who stopped by. I went into the house and asked him a lot of questions, and he let me help him clean up that day. After a few weeks, I was setting up Open Houses all over town, and I closed my first joint deal three months later. The first thing I did was take my family out to a steak dinner. It was the most satisfying meal I ever consumed.
Thirty years later, I’ve conquered the local real estate market. I’ve been able to provide not only for my parents, but for my own wife and kids as well. And I know you can do it too, Daniel. In this unpredictable economy, not many industries are safe to enter, but the country will always need doctors. And right now, they’re paying a lot for them – have you seen our health insurance bills? But your mom and I know you can do it; we’ve always worked hard to save up for the tuition payments, and we will continue to support you every step of the way.
- The main point from the author’s view is that
- Money is the objective measurement of security and success.
- The ability to provide for others is a man’s greatest achievement.
- One cannot only move around the world but also move up in it.
- The ability to quickly generate an income is the motivation for education.
- All of the above; all of these answers are one and the same, really.
Answer: E
- The phrase “we will continue to support you” in the passage means
- We will support you, no matter what career path you pursue.
- We will support you, no matter how much money you aim to make.
- We will support you, no matter how much your medical school costs.
- We will support you, no matter what.
- We will support you, in the only way we know how.
Answer: Both C and E
- Daniel is pursuing medicine because
- He has always wanted to make a shitload of money.
- He has always wanted to spend his life saving the lives of others.
- He has always wanted to pacify his natural fascination for the sciences.
- He has been told that he has always wanted to.
- “In this unpredictable economy, not many industries are safe to enter, but the country will always need doctors.”
Answer: D
- From middle school science classes to medical school applications, the path is
- Incredibly stressful.
- Difficult and discouraging.
- Highly competitive.
- Long and tedious.
- Rarely completed without altered motivations.
Answer: All of the above
- The best way to be rid of stress, discouragement and other insecurities is
- Park yourself in front of the tube with an ice cold beer.
- Five shots of cheap flavored vodka.
- A few tall glasses of Jack and Coke (light on the Coke, please).
- Irish Coffee in the morning and White Russians at night.
- Drink anything and everything until blacking out completely.
Answer: All of the above. In endless combinations. Every day of the week.
—-
after posting part one and part two, here is part three of four that features my creative and completely fictional attempt to develop the character and advance plot. hope you enjoy, this was my favorite one to write!
incoming message: dad’s cell.
Hey guys, sorry I missed your call. Please leave me a message with your name and number and I’ll get back to you, thanks!
“Paging Dr. Daniel Ott! Dr. Ott, please report to surgical ward immediately! Haha, that still rolls off the tongue so nicely, after all these years. Remember how you used to only come to the dinner table if we called you down like that? Hahaha…anyways, just calling to “check up” on you, see if you had some time this weekend for Mom and I to visit you, we ought to take you out to dinner somewhere, to celebrate the end of all those medical school applications! Let us know if you have some time, maybe you can take a quick break from studying on Sunday. Okay, son, work hard. Make me proud.”
—-
posting this for my pre-med friends who are wondering what happened to the slightly-familiar character from my experimental writing piece. a few more parts after this will go up later, in case you want to read it as another way to procrastinate!
Dreams for Dummies: The Medical School Equation
Lesson 7.21: The Medical School Equation
Grade Point Average Translation Table
Grade Points Value
A 16.00 This ought to be the correct answer for all assigned problems. If another answer is calculated, check your work, find the error and recalculate until discovering this correct answer.
A- 14.80 Correct answer cannot be calculated due to insufficient information. Please correct.
B+ 13.20 Not enough work is shown to support the answer given. Please correct.
B 12.00 Obviously, you do not understand the material. Please meet with your academic/psychological counselors to discuss potential exit strategies.
Cumulative Grade Point Average (GPA) > 3.85
Medical College Admission Test (MCAT) > 35
Lab/Hospital Volunteer Hours (VH) > 400
Letters of Recommendation (LR) = 3+
GPA + MCAT + VH + LR = Acceptance to a Medical School
= $50,000 tuition cost per year
= more student loans/debt after graduation
= even higher academic competition
= no social life/no love life/no life
= lessened chance of actually becoming a doctor
= higher likelihood of dropping out of school
= greater possibility of committing suicide
= *working long hours
= *compromising idealistic values of helping others
= *giving up on all other subordinate “dreams”
= *making a shitload of money
* Equates only if actually become a doctor.
Note: Generally, there is only one way to solve The Medical School Equation. This is the only given solution to solve the problem. This is the only option. This is the only avenue. This is the only road. This is the only way. This is the only dream worth having. This is the only goal worth aspiring for. This is the only possibility. There is nothing else but The Medical School Equation.
—-
here’s a very extreme excerpt from my final (and fictional) experimental writing piece about American ambition, due tomorrow afternoon. no sleep tonight!
i promise you, i did not break up with my blog.
just realized that a vast majority of my text posts this quarter have been pasted from class assignments and internship clips…apologies for the lack of unedited originality, these past few weeks as a student, marketing/pr assistant, virtual intern, resident advisor, freelance writer, tour guide and a cappella singer have also turned me into a walking zombie addicted to sugar-free red bull and pumpkin spice lattes. with two or three extra shots. multiple times a day.
i couldn’t be more thankful for such an amazing support system of family and friends. thank you for believing in my ambitious dreams, and for dealing with my rants when i didn’t have enough time or energy to type them onto tumblr. it has made all the difference, and i will continue to work hard for all of those who worked hard to get me here…
in all honesty, the upcoming graduation ceremony in june feels like a giant diving board, placed above waters as unstable as the economy with tides rising like the nation’s unemployment rate. ideally, i’d love to be swimming with ease like michael phelps or the little effing mermaid, but im simply hoping for a solid doggie paddle at this point. anybody wanna throw me a spare orange life vest? can anyone carry me on a canoe to a mag’s headquarters in new york? it doesn’t matter too much which masthead i try to wash up on - in this crazy climate, i’m not picky!
College Candy: Stop Hating On Liberal Arts Majors
As a senior in college, I’m scared to graduate. I’m terrified of turning my tassel because it’ll mean I’m leaving a world of over caffeinated classes, themed parties in Greek life, and apparently the opportunity to play competitive Quidditch . And like most of my generation, I might possibly find myself contributing to the nation’s economy by suddenly joining the unemployment rate.
If that were to happen, then it would be entirely my fault for wanting to be at the top of the beer pong tournament bracket instead of at the head of my class curve, and for being too anxious/lazy/[insert excuse here]to apply for graduate school programs. It would not be simply boiled down to the fact that I didn’t major in some form of engineering.
But Dori Jones Yang over at The Huffington Post disagrees. According to her, studying anything that does not directly lead to a future career in technology will “speed up our own decline as a society.” These supposedly impractical majors include Literature, Theater, Art, Politics, Creative Writing, Psychology, English – “all the fun stuff.” Apparently, we Liberal Arts kids live in a “dream world” lit by Hollywood stars and concert spotlights, and we inevitably aspire for contentment on Mom and Dad’s couch. We drop our calculus classes when they start to get difficult because we don’t like a challenge. Because we can’t handle it.
Well, Yang, I’m not sure what the history program was like at Princeton in your day, but the college environment has evolved just a little bit over the past few decades. With more high school graduates and less funding for education (from both state governments and anyone’s personal paycheck) than ever before, grabbing a seat at a university is a rat race in itself. Yet even then, undergraduate degrees in any field can no longer score a job alone these days and must be perfectly paired with impressive work experience, noted networking skills and, majority of the time, a second degree – psychologists and engineers alike!
But let’s imagine – no, dream – that every impressionable set of eyes that scans through Yang’s article then makes the personal commitment to convince their (future) kids to join the already cut-throat field of technology. The mathematical probability of finding a job, let alone a high-paying job like that of your daughter, will most likely drop down due to higher amount of prospective candidates for a certain amount of jobs; though students may be educated “to innovate in a high-tech world,” it’s somewhat difficult to statistically stimulate the economy while still finding themselves unemployed. But it’s not as if they’d even reach college in this new dream world anyway – there’d be such a shortage of teachers, novelists, artists, musicians, and journalists that the elementary school system wouldn’t be able to provide enough primary lesson plans or extracurricular activities to churn out well-rounded students fit for any kind of secondary education. No ecosystem works if every member aims to serve the same function – didn’t we all learn that back in biology class?
Honestly, explaining our non-engineering major is hard enough to just our friends and family – more like to family friends and snobby strangers – but the last thing we supposedly useless Liberal Arts majors need is someone hiding behind their computer screen to shout that our hard work, creativity, and tuition dollars are of no value in this new world. Especially when such a person majored in history and turned out just fine. Come on!
To my fellow non-technical majors: when digesting the wise words of TIME Magazine’s Fareed Zakariaon restoring the American dream economy and employment rate, realize that you too play an important role in our nation’s society. David Letterman makes us laugh with a degree in Radio & TV Broadcasting, and James Cameron makes us cry after majoring in English. President Ronald Reagan studied sociology, President John F. Kennedy majored in history and President Barack Obama graduated with a degree in political science. These job titles may not be spearheading the forefront of technology, but the paychecks they provide still need to be written out to somebody. And it’s okay if your career path doesn’t perfectly align with what’s printed on a diploma – Steve Wynn has redesigned the Las Vegas skyline with dancing fountains and explosive volcanoes since studying English in college. Besides, who is to say that a few engineers won’t have a career change somewhere down the line as well? Oh, so you didn’t actually dream of working toward that retirement plan in a technical field?
With academic achievement, industry experience and the often undervalued yet extremely necessary attribute that is social skills, you will forge forward on your own path, no matter what your major is. However, if you find yourself having to move back home and work at a restaurant for a while, keep your head up high. I’m sure the big thinkers like Yang don’t mind when being served delicious dinners at their favorite Seattle eateries. Work hard: drink the Red Bull and study for one more hour, keep sending out resumés like it’s candy on Halloween, and push past that first awkward small talk with the professor who will end up writing your strongest letter of recommendation. Just don’t forget to relaxevery once in a while on that rough, lonely, yellow brick road towards your commendable dreams.
And for the record, I passed calculus. With flying colors.
—-
last week was the best week ever.
monday: class workshop of personal narrative - social commentary about facebook. people officially creeped out, aka mission accomplished! may post up later.
tuesday: class workshop of media article - driving under the influence. perspective well refreshed. hoping to edit this and send it out for publishing by a magazine?
wednesday: spit out a personal narrative - alcoholism/relationship addiction. been wanting to do this for a while now. possible posting to come.
thursday: played email tag with PR reps for first official paid freelance gig. yes, a fourth job.
friday: chugged a red bull and penned this piece for liberal arts majors everywhere…mixed reviews in the comments section, but i’m sticking to my word.
i want this so badly.
working hard for all those who worked hard to get me here,
and there’s no way i’m gonna let a few avid typists get in the way of my ambition.
incredibly thankful for such an encouraging week of seized opportunities!
a creative writer typing from LA & SD.
