what the HELL is going on up there??!?
occasionally, i still trap myself inside my own head. if these walls could talk, they’d be yelling at each other about why none of them have an open door of any kind, not even a window to look out into a potential distance, to focus on something outside of itself, to let all of the hopes and dreams breathe for just a precious moment each day. instead, they sit suffocating amidst moldings and stucco, stuck, molding. rotting into something completely different than they used to be.
but then, after a while, after i’ve cried myself an indoor pool and thrown a full-fledged pity party - complete with a catering menu of sparkling red wine, see’s candies truffles and ben & jerry’s ice cream pints - i realize that my windowless walls still make up an effing mansion, stuffed with sweet reads, cushioned lounge chairs and way too much cable television. so for once in your life, i tell myself, sit back, relax and calm the fuck down. because someday, i’ll be wishing with all my heart to be back in this stagnant state of mind again.
oh, and take better care of your dreams, i add. protect them from the world, protect them from yourself. maybe then they won’t spoil so damn easily.
a creative writer typing from LA & SD.
